Why Don’t They Understand Me?

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”
― C.G. Jung

Do you feel that you are often misunderstood on how you would react to a situation?  Are you given opportunities that doesn’t resonate with you but others feel that you will be good at doing?  This is a common scenario that comes up during my bazi career consultation sessions.

Human beings are multi-faceted,

it takes time to “peel-off” the layers before others will understand you.  Just like the picture of the onion shown below, most times, our colleagues, bosses, peers and acquaintances will see the outer layers which form their perception of us.  It takes time to “peel off” the layers before someone can see the “inner self”, thus usually it is our close friends or loved ones who will get to experience this “inner self”.  At times, even we ourselves may not know this “inner self” causing much of our frustrations and confusion.

Over the years, I’ve utilized the Bazi profiling system to help clients understand themselves and the perception of others about them so that they are more aware and can better manage their relationship with others and career decisions.

Shown below is the JYPQ™ chart of a client who is perceived to be someone who is friendly, artistic and inspirational (shown in the Yellow quadrant – obvious profiles of Leader, Artist and Friend).  However, the person’s base profile (in red rectangle) is a Warrior (shown in the Purple quadrant – not obvious profiles). This would mean that he is someone who is like a general at war: that is, he prefers to be given challenges and problems to resolve rather than just inspiring and working with team members. What would be my advice to this client?

It is important for him to voice out his job role preferences to his superior so that he is given exposure to pick up job skills related to project management, problem solving and develop them into competencies.

Does everyone have the same issue?

No, as shown in the Iceberg picture below, if other’s perception of you is similar to your “inner self” like in Iceberg 2 , you would not have this issue.  However, if your Bazi profile chart is similar to those of Icebergs 1 and 3, you will have to put in more effort to ensure that you are given opportunities to take on tasks that you enjoy, develop the skills and competencies in these areas and take on job roles that showcases your strengths which you are motivated and passionate about.


As shown in the JYPQ™ chart below, if  your Diplomat Base Profile (in red rectangle) is in the Yellow Obvious Quadrant, others will perceive you to have the characteristics of Diplomat – fair, conservative and is someone who prefers to work in an environment that has proper rules and regulations without constant changes.


Thank you for taking time to read this post.  Tune in next time to read more on how you can start building your inborn talent to your skills and competencies to begin your journey and path to Happiness and Success.  If you would like to know more about yourself and others’ perception of you, you can download the Free PATHS™ mobile app at both Google Play and App Store.


Watch this short 1 min video about the PATHS™ mobile app.